Dying is part of the human condition and many have taken an irreverent attitude towards death. Irish writer and wit, Oscar Wilde's last words are reputed to have been: "This wallpaper is killing me; one of us has got to go." And of course the wallpaper stayed.
Not content with simply an uttered last jab at death, some witty folks have devised some pretty weird epitaphs and gravestones. In some cases, the writer poked fun at themselves. In others, the survivors decided to make their low opinion of the deceased known for all time by writing a very unflattering epitaph.
This is a collection of weird epitaphs on gravestones from a number of New England cemetaries .
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Beneath this stone our baby lays
He neither crys or hollers.
He lived just one and twenty days,
And cost us forty dollars.
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Here lies old Caleb Ham,
By trade a bum.
When he died the devil cried,
Come, Caleb, come.
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Here lies the body of John Mound
Lost at sea and never found.
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She lived with her husband fifty years
And died in the confident hope of a better life. (I sense some irony here)
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Here lies the body of old Uncle David,
Who died in the hope of being sa-ved.
Where he's gone or how he fares,
Nobody knows and nobody cares.
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My wife from me departed
And robbed me like a knave;
Which caused me broken hearted
To sink into this grave.
My children took an active part,
To doom me did contrive;
Which stuck a dagger in my heart
That I could not survive.
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My father and mother were both insane
I inherited the terrible stain.
My grandfather, grandmother, aunts and uncles
Were lunatics all, and yet died of carbuncles.
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